There is a new mini-series on Netflix called Adolescence. It is a story set in England and involves a 13-year-old boy called Jamie who is suspected of murdering a female classmate. I won’t spoil for you how the story unfolds, but I can say that detectives uncover the psychological pressures that Jamie has had to deal with. He has been bullied and called an incel – a term referring to boys who cannot find a female romantic partner and thus engage in hatred of women online.
Once upon a time
At the University of Zimbabwe in the late 80s and early 90s, there was something called the United Bachelors Association (UBA). Members of this unregistered group were united in their heavy drinking and inability to sustain romantic relationships. As used to happen then, the female students were clear-minded about what they wanted in life – a degree, a job and a man with prospects. The man with prospects was usually already out there in the world, working and driving a company-issued “box” Nissan Sunny. For the members of UBA, contributions to Delta Breweries and full-throttled participation in demonstrations were a way of life.
If the internet and social media had been around then, UBA members would have expressed themselves in certain ways, but after university, the world of work tamed them, and they got married soon after.
Rise of the Alpha Male
Within Zimbabwe, the old UBA member has reincarnated in a more vicious and misogynistic form as the Alpha Male who preaches an odd cocktail of philosophies on how men and women should relate. The chief alpha insists that a man should only marry a virgin. However, that same man should gain experience elsewhere before he marries and can also have another woman “on the side”. A woman should bring her own money into relationship or marriage. Such a man is not a “simp” because he knows how to “control” his home.
Women in different relationship statuses are described in such derogatory terms that you wonder if the alphas have mothers, aunts, nieces and sisters. On a daily basis, the ritualistic pontification and degradation goes on and the “disciples” chant in agreement.
_____
The angry broken man
There is a deeper psychological issue at play. The Zimbabwe of 35 years ago is not the same as today. The severe economic hardships and the subsequent breakup of the family unit has created a society at war with itself. In a society in which being man is defined in terms of being a protector and a provider, the inability to have a decent and regular income has created generations of men that are under severe mental stress.
It does not help that both within Zimbabwe and globally, women are faring better in school and universities than men. For example, it is not unusual for a South African university to have an enrolment of 62% women.
When the traditional Zimbabwean man lands in the United Kingdom and realises he has to attend to household chores and babysitting, it is a major shock to the system. For the women, the move into a society in which they can build a career without the shackles of a society that expects a brood of babies and a stay-at-home life, can be a liberating experience.
The feeling of emasculation of the male is reinforced by the loose network of alpha males on social media and Army Commander Andrew Tate leading brigadiers in places such as Kampala, Harare and Johannesburg. The alphas affirm each other, and it does not hurt that the levels of engagement results in Comrade Elon Musk cutting them a cheque every month. It must be nice to spew hate daily and smile all the way to the bank.
Let’s just stop it
You could caution me and say some of the bitterness is not always the man’s fault. You would be right, but I would still say the generalised responses are not very helpful. I have friends who could have reason to rant daily on X but they do not. Let me illustrate.
A good friend divorced his wife because he was in love with someone else. However, a year later, his lover told him she was leaving the country with her son. She added: “You are not part of our plans.” My buddy was left hanging and devastated.
In another case, a struggling artist I know was told by his high-earning wife to make his own way to New York for a holiday. The wife had purchased her own ticket. The man was deeply humiliated. He told us this experience which was uniquely his.
Despite these examples, we do not disparage all women as if they were one identical mass. To hate a whole people on the basis of their gender, ethnicity or nationality is a pathology. It is irrational and deranged.
The alphas must deal with their mental demons rather than create situations that could cause harm to girls and women. No person deserves to be hurt, maimed or killed simply because of their gender.
